When you think life is heading in one direction ...

Well here I am, writing my first blog post on what is day 12 of self-isolation for us a family. Never in a million years did I think that when I got the idea for ‘Getting me sh1t together’, it would be more a case of trying to ‘keep my sh1t together’ as the coronavirus pandemic takes hold.

That’s of course what happens so often isn’t it – you think life is heading in one direction and then low and behold it takes you in another. Though this time it is taking us in directions many of us never thought possible – some good, bad and ugly.

For me, I really was starting to get my sh1t together before the virus struck and interrupted all our lives. I had two months of maternity leave left, and had finally started to settle into a routine with my little man, taking him to groups where he was thriving. I’d found an amazing acupuncturist and had returned to pilates – my weekly exercise and time for myself. My little girl had settled well into school, made some amazing friends, and I was relieved that the parents on the school gates were human and extremely friendly too. But most of all we’d taken the decision to put our house for sale at the beginning of April, the photos had been taken and we were all set to literally move on with our lives.

But the coronavirus is currently calling the shots, and as I type we as a country are in lockdown for the foreseeable future. For many this will cause huge frustration, inconvenience and stress – especially those trying to work from home with children. But you know what – this is the break I’ve being needing. Yes I’ve shed tears on my children’s behalf that they can’t socialise, but they’ve done what children always do. They’ve shown resilience like you can’t imagine and are actually thriving from being at home with little lady not even asking to go anywhere as she simply knows she can’t and has fully accepted this.

From the ‘stop’ button being pressed, the sun has shone every day this week so we’ve been out in the garden playing as I’m still on maternity leave. I’ve spent more quality time with my daughter in a week than since her brother arrived 10 months ago. She’s getting to know him, and they are in the main happy with much fewer tantrums than usual as no-one is in a rush, no one has to be anywhere. Yes we are doing some home learning, but I am not even attempting home schooling, and to those that are please don’t stress yourselves out.

The enforced ‘stop’ or break from the normal routine as I to think of it will hopefully give me time to think, when I’m not chasing round after the children. I’m beginning to wonder in which direction will my family and I head once the ‘start’ button is once again pressed. Do we all have to return to such a fast pace? I’ve often said I don’t belong in this world and by that I mean the constant to dos, wants, needs. This slower pace is what I’ve been longing for. Maybe the novelty will wear off depending how long the lockdown lasts, but I’m a realist and know it won’t end anytime soon. It will certainly be interesting for us all to reflect at the end of what and who have we truly missed, and who and what we haven’t.

For now I intend to stay safe, play with my babies, keep my sh1t together as and when needed – I’ll share my tips on how in a future post. But I also know the importance of allowing emotions to rise, especially in such unchartered waters, and I’m certainly capable of having a good ‘ol tantrum when things get too much.

I’ve referred to a ‘break’ and the importance of letting emotions rise. It’s ironic that I started reading Marian Keyes’ book ‘The Break’ before we went into lockdown. In it is a wonderful poem by Rumi:

This human is a Guest House

Every morning a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness

Some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

Who violently sweep your house

Empty of its furniture.

Still treat each guest honourably,

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

Stay safe and if you are staying home, I hope you are able to make the most of it when you can. And for the amazing key workers who are actually working harder than ever, I hope that when the time comes you too can stop and reflect.

Emma x